The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland voted yesterday to exit the European Union, in a move popularly known as “Brexit”. The immediate result of the referendum was to de-stabalize global markets, weaken the British Pound against the Dollar, send everyone in the republic of Ireland (a major U.K trade partner) to the pub with a terrible headache, and cause U.S President Barack H. Obama to mutter some ominously snarky words about Great Britain having jettisoned itself to the “back of the Queue” if it hopes to secure U.S muscle for any future trade or diplomatic objectives- since we will naturally prioritize our relationship with the large and influential E.U bloc- though of course, we will still always have a “special relationship” with our former Colonial Overlords. Ever wonder what the fuck these “special relationships” are about? I mean, we know what the one with Israel is about, because the (presumed) need to park big scary weapons in the middle of the Arab Oil countries is as glaring as a flashlight in your face, and no it’s not because the pentagon breaks for Torah study. But this “special relationship” with England? Especially if they’re not in the E.U and therefore have no direct influence on continental affairs whereby to help us keep Russia in check? Maybe it’s just lip service for old times sake. We do speak the same language. And we did found this nation after running away from their repressive shores. But if that’s all it comes down to, we should probably have a “special relationship” with Liberia. Yeah, I vote that we break up with Great Britain and ask Liberia out.
(For the record, I still think it’s possible that many Britons thought they were voting for “Breakfast”. Which would make sense, since it’s the only meal they have).
A couple signs of the end times worth noting:
A score of dead West Virginians following flash floods in the mountain state. A burning house being carried away on the swell. A barrage of tweets telling me to “Pray for West Virginia”. As someone recently said about Congress’ obstruction of commonsense gun control legislation: “they always tell you to pray, because of course the best thing to do when something really terrible is happening is to go to your own room and quietly talk to yourself”.
The Artist formerly known as Prince Rogers Nelson died in April. His death was ruled an accidental overdose of the painkiller Fentanyl, an extremely powerful synthetic opiate which has been wreaking havoc not only in Erotic City but everywhere else in our Opiate-addled country as well. The Wall Street Journal of Thursday June 23, 2016 reports that the DEA knows where this shit is coming from, and nobody will be surprised to learn that Fentanyl, various chemical precursors required to make it, as well as variations that remain legal because they didn’t exist until they needed to (known as analogs) are coming from China to the U.S mostly by way of Mexico or Canada, where Customs is more lax (Canada) or more corrupt (Mexico) than in the U.S. The Chinese know exactly what people are going to do with this stuff and how deadly it can be (after all, at least one Chinese customs agent fell into a coma after handling a small amount of it during a drug bust), and at best they just don’t care. They’re sending the stuff with Pill Presses for convenient packaging in crates marked “Hole Puncher” and “kitchen mixer”. The Chinese Government knows how to Cyber-attack us. They’ve already been caught hacking U.S Government websites. They’ve probably been responsible for at least a couple of the blackouts in West Coast cities in the past few years, because shit is getting gnarly in the South China Sea and they probably feel that they should have the capacity to kill the Grid in a couple major U.S metropolitan areas as leverage, but they might not even need to do that. I mean shit, they already killed Prince. What thoroughly demoralized nation has the stamina for a Pacific Theatre Cold War?